I once belong to a "I Confess" egroup whose members would post, for comment, their innermost secrets and desires. Some were genuinely bizarre, but most were humdrum. I had to react online to this one: I love sex to the point of being addicted to it... but i cant have sex with anyone unless I am in love with them."
To which I responded:
This is silly. Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. Love takes many, many forms. Sex is a culmination of a form of love. Infatuation sometimes "blooms" into love (the full flowering of a sexual urge, in such instances), so that it could be said that had there been no infatuation, there would be no sex, and without sex, there would be no love. Note that I said "sometimes," and that takes us back to the forms of love. This is always misunderstood by women, and especially married women, who think that a husband's dalliances with other females, including prostitutes, is a transference of love from one person to the other -- a form of betrayal -- when, in fact, it often serves only to strengthen the love that existed before. That is why we love Tony's dalliances in "The Sopranos." During his brief separation from his wife in an earlier season, he was miserable (and not because of the guilt trips laid on him by his shrink, typically Freudian, with typically Freudian-Jewish guilt mania), and so was she. To her credit, she found ways to transcend her jealousy (the basest, most juvenile of human emotions), just as Hillary did with Bill, and was it any coincidence that this HBO series paralleled the White House scandals? Women who are sure of themselves know that just because their guy has sex with other women doesn't mean he doesn't love them. Nine out of ten married couples after a decade of marriage almost never have sex -- check the statistics if you don't believe me. What's a guy to do, sneak off into the garage and beat his meat? He's probably going to be a lot more attention and affectionate a husband if he can get his rocks off now and then with other women. He "loves" the other women: in quotes because it is a different form of love. It is the love of sex for sex's sake. That's love, too.
To which I responded:
This is silly. Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. Love takes many, many forms. Sex is a culmination of a form of love. Infatuation sometimes "blooms" into love (the full flowering of a sexual urge, in such instances), so that it could be said that had there been no infatuation, there would be no sex, and without sex, there would be no love. Note that I said "sometimes," and that takes us back to the forms of love. This is always misunderstood by women, and especially married women, who think that a husband's dalliances with other females, including prostitutes, is a transference of love from one person to the other -- a form of betrayal -- when, in fact, it often serves only to strengthen the love that existed before. That is why we love Tony's dalliances in "The Sopranos." During his brief separation from his wife in an earlier season, he was miserable (and not because of the guilt trips laid on him by his shrink, typically Freudian, with typically Freudian-Jewish guilt mania), and so was she. To her credit, she found ways to transcend her jealousy (the basest, most juvenile of human emotions), just as Hillary did with Bill, and was it any coincidence that this HBO series paralleled the White House scandals? Women who are sure of themselves know that just because their guy has sex with other women doesn't mean he doesn't love them. Nine out of ten married couples after a decade of marriage almost never have sex -- check the statistics if you don't believe me. What's a guy to do, sneak off into the garage and beat his meat? He's probably going to be a lot more attention and affectionate a husband if he can get his rocks off now and then with other women. He "loves" the other women: in quotes because it is a different form of love. It is the love of sex for sex's sake. That's love, too.